I can't believe it's been this long since I have updated this blog. A lot has happened.
First of all, I did end up staying at my job and taking the other position. While it hasn't been the most awesome thing ever, I am so thankful that I have a job and a steady income. I will go into more of this later.
Back in May, my sister-in-law, Jenn, and I did the Race for the Cure 2011. What an amazing
experience it is every time I go.
This was us at the finish line at The Gateway in downtown SLC. There were about 17,000-ish people that did the race this year and so it took a while to get to the starting and finish line.
Now, Jenn and I are not ones to cry and really emote those kinds of feelings. So Jenn was miming how we were feeling on the inside. Seeing so many people there to support this cause was brilliant.
This was my FAVORITE! This little girl was about 4-5 years old and was the cutest thing ever!
Everyone was stopping her to compliment her on the shirt her mommy made her. Her mommy, who is holding her hand, was there as a cancer surviver.
We also made a video as we went along to give our take on the event. Once I can get that edited, it will be posted. It will be the first ever Still Standing Vlog.
Today I want to talk a little about faith. That is our theme this month in Primary. But it has also been a deep internal subject for me as of late. For the past three years, especially, I have had my faith tried. My faith in the Lord, in the Gospel, in other people and even myself has been tested at every turn.
When Mike and I first got married, we went through a lot. Mike had a heart attack two months after the wedding. This meant he was unemployed and sick for almost a year. We were strapped financially. We had issues communicating. I didn't know what he wanted from our marriage, and honestly, I didn't know what I wanted out of our marriage. It was not what I has imagined married life to be. I don't blame my husband for that. I think I just had a preconceived notion of what was supposed to happen when you got married.
My faith was tested when we tried to pay tithing. It was tried when we had to pay rent every month. It was tried when I was deciding whether or not to keep my end of the marriage bargains. But the things that were constantly there to remind me was the love of a good family, the love of a devoted husband, and the love of a Heavenly Father that would not waiver. Our parents stepped in and helped us however they could. Our bishop was always checking up on us. Somehow, by the grace of God, we made it through that first year.
Things are a lot better then they were two years ago. Mike has a job. I am still employed. Our love for each other has grown so much. However, our faith is still tested. I guess it always will be.
We are still trying to get back on our feet, financially. Mike is looking for a better job, but as everyone knows, the economy is still trying to recover. He is trying to get into school, but that's another area that keeps getting blocked at every turn. My car, the malibu, has been broken down for a year. We can't afford to get it fixed, registered and so on. But, we do have Mike's car and that thing has been a life saver.
There are still times where it feels like it would be easier to just give up and stop trying.
However, it's moments like the ones in Primary today that remind me that these trials are only temporary.
Watching these children with their innocent and unwaivering faith and understanding of this concept reminded me that it's time to stand up, pull up my big girl panties and move on. When asked how to strengthen their faith, the kids gave the traditional Sunday School answers - Pray, Read your scriptures and go to Church.
Aren't those the answers to so many questions in life?
By praying, you are developing a relationship with Heavenly Father. He knows us and knows everything we need, think and feel. But, we don't know all of that about Him. I have spent countless times praying, begging, pleading with the Lord to bless me with the things I think I need. In my mind, they are innocent necessities in life that will make other aspects of life better. But I guess I don't see the whole picture. Patience is a virtue that I STRUGGLE with. I want things done now and done the way I think they should be. Learning patience is what will be my life long trial.
Reading the scriptures is something that I have not always had the best habit of doing. I need to get back into that habit. Since I have gotten my new phone, I can listed to internet radio on it while I work. I like to listen to a station that plays hymns all the time. The messages that I get from the hymns and scriptures reminds me that it's all been done before. The trials that people have are the same trials that have been around since Eve ate the fruit. They are just presented in new fashions now. My issues are not unique and new. But how I choose to handle them is what makes the difference. It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game.
It's nice to be reminded of the basics after being out of Primary for so long.
It then reminds me that with a little faith, anything is possible.
Knowing what I know and knowing the truth, it makes it hard to continue to be frustrated and to complain. It can all be summed up by the titles of the songs I play for the children every week:
I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus
I know Heavenly Father Loves Me
Search, Ponder and Pray
I Am a Child of God
Faith is knowing the sun will rise
Love One Another
Give Said the Little Stream
Follow the Prophets
How basic, and yet, how powerful. I guess I will try another day. I will get on my knees again tonight, but this time with a reminder that "Faith Proceeds the Miracle."
